You know who likes summer festivals? Girls.

So, don’t tell my boss, but I’ve been spending a lot of time searching Ukrainian summer festivals online lately. There’s two reasons for this: one, I’m freezing my butt off and thinking about summer; and two, hot Russian girls. More on them in a minute.

Hey, we’ve all been there: the gray, grim face of November stretches on and on, reaching its cold claws into January and February, and sometimes even into March, depending on where you’re living. And god help you if you were single at the start of winter. It’s so hard to find a new girl to date when everyone is cooped up inside their apartments for months at a time. And, even when they do go out, girls are swaddled in like 18 layers underneath a down parka! Who knows what’s underneath all that??

Oh sure, we get a brief break from winter during the Christmas holidays. Maybe you have a shot at meeting someone at the office Christmas party, or during the boozey joy of New Years’ Eve. But don’t those holidays always feel like sort of a blip on the radar? An anomaly? It’s almost as if those holidays were designed as a distraction from the brutal ugliness of winter.

I mean, even if you enjoy “walking in a winter wonderland,” surely the vast majority of us prefer strolling in the sand of summer.

And that applies not only to guys like me who live in the US. Believe me, beautiful Russian women know how to have fun at summer festivals too.

Although Russia and the Ukraine are known for their harsh winters, the fact is that summertime festivals there are amazing reservoirs for sexy Russian girls–and Ukrainian girls too.

There are two Russian women stereotypes: one is the ancient, stooped babushka lady, standing in line for bread and toilet paper.

But it’s the other kind of stereotype we’re interested in, isn’t it? The classic Russian beauty: tall, lean girls with long blond hair and piercing blue eyes, the kind who are strong-willed but quick to laugh, and quicker to match you shot for shot of ice-cold vodka.

And I’m telling you, Ukrainian festivals like the Yalta Summer Jam, The Fresh Fest, and the LvivKlez Fest are amazing places to see the hottest Russian girls.

But let’s face facts: most of us can’t afford a ticket to fly out to the Ukraine for a festival or three, no matter how great are the opportunities for beautiful Russian sex might be.

That’s where the beauty of the internet comes into play.

There are so many opportunities to meet hot Russian brides or even just girls who are up for chatting online. In my experience Russian girls are among the most eager to learn about the West, to learn about what our culture is like, and what fun things we like to do. They go crazy for our television shows, our movies, our slang–and especially our music.

Trust me, there are worse things you could bring up on a Russian webchat than what bands you like, what festivals you plan to see this summer. And in turn, keeping the conversation going by asking a hot Russian or Ukrainian girl what bands she is going to see at the Yalta Summer Jam is a decently clever way to demonstrate that you’re at least moderately culturally aware.

Expressing an interest in something a girl finds interesting is a tried and true way in to getting to know her better; expressing a mutual interest in summertime partying good times–even if you’re doing so over a webchat thousands of miles away in the dead of winter is a guaranteed way to generate warm feelings.

And there are worse things to be associated with than partying, fun, and summertime warmth!