Chatting with Russian women: three big ‘DOs,” and one big “DON’T”

They say love is the universal language. And for anyone who has spent any amount of time in the online Russian dating world, you know this is true. There is nothing like the joy of making a unique connection across thousands of miles of distance and thousands of years of culture, and sharing a moment with a sexy Russian girl.

What’s amazing about dating women overseas, and especially about dating Russians is not how much we have that is different, but how much we have in common. Russian women are looking to meet men who are confident, successful, and pleasant to be around. And all the best Russian women have those same qualities.

But having said all that, we also must keep in mind that we are from very different cultures. Now of course there are cultural norms in every country that are naturally confusing to outsiders.

And the truth is that the Russians are a famously tough people. As such they have a thick skin. Have you ever seen what a Russian winter looks like? It is a land that breeds tough people. Darwinism has weeded out the weak ones.

But the thing is, despite their physical toughness, another trait the Russians are known for is being easily offended.

When it comes time for you to get real with chatting up a Russian woman, or maybe even seeking Russian women for marriage, there are a few things you should do, but there are also a few things you should definitely not do.

• Do – Be Honest. There is nothing Russians hate more than dissembling. If you are in med school, say that. If you are a doctor, say so, by all means. But if you are in med school and you call yourself a doctor as you try to date Russia, or even just some girls from Russia, you are going to find yourself in trouble, I can assure you.

• Do – Ask Questions. This is honestly kind of a no-brainer for dating period, especially online dating, but Imention it in this context because in my experience I’ve found that Russian women in particular have a tendency to clam up if you don’t keep the conversation rolling. That said, try to avoid sounding like an interrogator. There are waysto converse using questions, without sounding like an inquisitor. Try open-endedquestions that leave her room to talk about herself as much as she wants to.

• Don’t – say stupid things based on Russian stereotypes. This is the big one, boys. There is a kind of ancient, pre-internet, ridiculous set of stereotypes built around the notion of the Russian mail order bride that colors the way people see dating on Russian sites even now. It permeates the conversation from time to time, with people thinking that all women on Russian or Ukrainian dating sites are by default scammers hunkered down in mafia houses feverishly trying to crack into your bank account based on search terms like “mail order bride Russia.” And yes, a certain amount of caution is called for with any kind of online interaction with a stranger. But I promise you, the second you make any kind of allusion to your potential Russian friend being something along these lines, you will get shut down hard. If you think that she’s sketchy, move on. There are plenty of other fish in the Black Sea.

Takeaway message: be smart, be careful, but be open! You never know what you might be missing out on!